oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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