so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
