Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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