listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
