dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
