I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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