how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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