You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
