We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm both gender and math confused
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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