Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
