I just cut my nipple shaving
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize