I can tuck mytits in my pants
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.