Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.