I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here