My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
