It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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