I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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