How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
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