You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We don't watch enough power rangers
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
