I heard we made out
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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