just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
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I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
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He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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