Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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