when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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