ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
