my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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