Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just want to make out with him forever
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize