Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just want to make out with him forever
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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