I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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