Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
