Soap is not a condiment
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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