I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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