Do you still have your period?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
