Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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