Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
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and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.