How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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