There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
