Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize