...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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