yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
