I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
