The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I want to make a zoo with you.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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