I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
