Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
