I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
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We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
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Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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