he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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