you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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