I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
