I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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