if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm both gender and math confused
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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