i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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