His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
