I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
