i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
