I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
