Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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