my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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