You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
