if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
