writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
