i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
it glows. i had to have it.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
