Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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