my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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