i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
