if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize