Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
