two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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