Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Small penises have feelings too.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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