I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
