My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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