Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
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Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
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I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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